Hey guys. I took a short break because I was in San Diego. (loved La Jolla, although I kept calling it La Holla)
I attended a leadership conference for work and few weeks before the conference started I had to write a letter to myself– about what I wish I knew when I first started leading people. The letter was given to me at the training, and I had completely forgotten what I wrote. But when I re-read my letter, I loved it. I had gotten through a tough time at work a few weeks before the conference, so that was my frame of mind when I wrote it. I thought I’d share in hopes it would help someone.
I want you to continue to trust yourself. There will be many people who try to tell you who you are, but all they can offer is what they see through their experiences and lens. Listen, but don’t internalize.
Don’t be so concerned about how people perceive you, and don’t try so hard to manipulate how you are perceived. You cannot control what others think of you no matter how hard you try.
Learn not to take people’s bad behavior personally. People cannot give what they do not have. This means meet people where they are and if I disagree with their leadership style, find the courage to give them feedback. Don’t always take the path of least resistance.
Surround yourself with supportive people and mentors. Don’t isolate yourself when times get hard. Lean in to life and lean on people for support.
Quicker is not always better, continue to take your time with work and people, it always pays off.
Continue to take time every morning to breathe and start the day from a calm place. Remember you are not auditioning for your job. You know what you are doing and if you don’t, people and ideas will come across your path to help you.
Lastly, learn to effectively deal with conflict, especially with those in authority. If others do not want to be persuaded, learn to move on and don’t feel like you failed. Continue to have integrity and trust all things will work out for your good.
For many many years I got away with a last minute approach to Christmas. Although I love to be prepared and stuff, I was the girl who would do most of her Christmas shopping December 23rd-24th and come up with fabulous gifts!! (at least no one told me otherwise).
But now that I’m an adult (I do forget that sometimes…) being a procrastinator during the holidays makes doing adult things like sending Christmas cards, getting gifts for others, you know–being thoughtful, a source of stress.
So last year, we barely made the requested dress code for my daughter’s holiday play (I didn’t read the cover letter sent home) and I forgot to give the teachers cards with their gifts. Gifts weren’t wrapped until Christmas Eve, and…sigh you get it! Part of me says, just let it go Ms. Perfectionist, but there is another part of me that knows it’s about better planning.
We are stressed from back to school (which is August in Georgia–yuck!) through Halloween and through the New Year–but since we always manage to get through it. But do we do anything different the next year to make it easier?
My solution and my resolution for this year is to start thinking about and planning for Christmas in July. Yes July!
I’ve always had the mindset that Christmas shopping should be done year round, so I have a gift drawer but it’s kind random–I need to step it up a bit. There are always last minute things creep up in the holiday season (unexpected house guests, needing last minute gifts for people you just met, or parties you’ve been invited to).
So the solution to an easier holiday season is to do what you can do early. No one will know if you write your holiday cards in July (just don’t send them!!). No one would know if you took Christmas pics in July ( I’m more diligent about exercise in the summer, no holiday weight yet…hmmm that may be a great idea!!) just don’t send them. I can see my family traveling to some photography studio in Christmas sweaters in this heat to have our pictures taken? (well maybe we change into the Christmas garb at the studio…)
Admittedly, July is almost over, but writing this has reminded me that the second half of the year goes quickly, so I am going to start planning. We are hosting Christmas this year so I can start working on and testing the menu. I can schedule for our pictures to be taken and start writing the list for gifts. What can you start doing now?
I’m starting to wonder if this is where the term Christmas in July came from…
Well safe travels to everyone traveling. I hope you enjoy the rest of the summer.
“Like physical effort, thought control is entirely a matter of intelligent practice. You must use your courage or it will desert you. You must use your determination or it will leave you. You must use your power of decision or soon you will find that you have none.”
Think and Grow Rich
Wow, right?! I fully understand that concept for muscles–think astronauts and the extreme care they take to exercise their muscles in space so they don’t atrophy. (side note: if I don’t work out for a week, the next week, when I resume, my heart, lungs, and muscles feel like I haven’t used them in years…ugh!!)
Until I saw that quote, I hadn’t thought about courage, determination, or decisiveness in a “use or lose” kind of way. But we all know, once in a comfort zone, it’s hard to get out. Once you quit on one goal, it’s much easier to quit next time. Once you waffle on a decision, it’s easier to be wishy washy next time. But the good news is the same idea is true in reverse. Once you leap and make one courageous move (even if it’s unsuccessful) it’s easier to be courageous next time. Once you decide get out of bed early to work out, it becomes easier the next time.
So I encourage you (and me) to do things that require courage. Not only things like sky diving and rock climbing, but little things like wearing a non-traditional nail polish color to a conservative work place and bigger things like creating a book series that rejects stereotypes and promotes diversity. (wonder who is trying to do that?)
Also, use your decisive and determined muscles on a daily basis. I know we tend to be all about accommodating everyone and everything, but learn to stick with a decision no matter who opposes it.
Stay inspired and enjoy the journey,
PS couldn’t help the He-man pic. Not sure why:)
So that leads me to my new boo (or bae… did I use that correctly?)Ted. Since I had more time in the evenings, I needed something positive to do. I’m sure many of you heard of Ted Talks, so that’s my Ted and I’m in love. I cuddle up in my chair or bed and listen to amazing Ted Talk speakers. They lift me up and give advice that have changed my life.
Here’s a few that I would recommend:
Source: Wednesday Wisdom: Chillax
A former boss once told me that I am a great worker, and very even keel, but (yes a but!) one of the things that I need is to feel respected. (I feel like what was implied is that I make waves when I feel I am being disrespected, and that’s not a good thing. sigh.).
I called my hubby to repeat the conversation and said, it’s not like that should be too much to ask…am I expecting too much of others? Please don’t tell me I’m overly needy because I feel every one should be respected. I just want people to show they have some “home training”.
Then it hit me, everyone has different upbringings, and something as simply courteous as saying hello in the hallway may not be on someone’s radar. (I am still shaking my head in disbelief as I typed that) But the reality is, what’s most important is my reaction to the perceived slight at work, at home, or by a neighbor.
Getting upset and giving away my joy is sooo what I need to work on…I need to realize not everyone was raised like me and that by putting my standards on others does nothing to them, but ruins my day and shortens my life.
“A relaxed attitude lengthens life” (Proverbs 14:30)