Pretty Blue Rose

life musings, fashion, and inspiration


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Wednesday Wisdom: Wrestling with Pigs

“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”

― George Bernard Shaw

I first saw this quote on twitter last week, and in full disclosure when I did my research, I found it attributed to several different people, but Mr. Shaw had the most votes, so he’s who I ended up going with.

So when I saw quote it spoke to me loud and clear. When someone is going through an injustice (that’s small to them, but big to you) everyone likes to say “pick your battles”, but that gives me little consolation when I know I am being wronged/mistreated and it’s making my everyday very challenging.

However, this quote shifts the focus from being wronged to avoiding joining a mess. It gave me a palatable alternative to jumping in there and setting the record straight (or really telling someone off, let’s be honest). If I don’t engage in gossip and backbiting, my character stays in tact, but if I chose to engage with challenging people, I will inevitably stoop to their level and I will reek of their character. So by “picking my battles” I’ll stay out of the mud and stay clean. Although I won’t have the satisfaction of engaging with certain people the way I’d love to, I’ll also be able to wear a metaphorical white outfit and keep it clean, in other words, keeping my integrity and character in tact.

Pretty Blue Style: All in white

Also, this quote helped me to realize that there is no way I could engage with challenging people and stay clean. I may start out clean (with good intentions), but by the nature of who they are, and how they play, I am bound to get really really dirty. And I don’t want that.

Wearing all white,

A.G.

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Wednesday Wisdom: Stop Auditioning

 

 

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I’ve been getting a lot of advice lately. Let’s just say there are some interesting things going on in my life and lots of folks have lots to say (reminder to self: stop telling lots of folks). I was lamenting the fact that I felt dismissed, judged, and undervalued.

A mentor gave me one piece of (alarming) advice about the work place that stuck with me:

“Although unfair, everyday is an audition”.

I found two definitions of auditioning:
1-An interview at which a singer, actor, dancer, or musician demonstrates their suitability and skill.

2-A trial performance, as by an actor, dancer, or musician, to demonstrate suitability or skill.

I think we all know the first definition, but the first part of the second definition is that caught my eye.  Auditions are a trial period where it is OK to be asked to demonstrate your skills. The thing I’d like to highlight is that it’s for a limited time –hence the word  trial.

But some folks expect people to prove themselves everyday but that’s tiring! Right? Living everyday as on a trial performance is not healthy. But unfortunately, I had to agree with that sentiment. In some work circles there’s always this “thing” hanging over you about your reputation. Everything you do, say, and work you perform is always “shaping” your “reputation”. To me this means you are always auditioning, always proving.

When I mentioned this everyday auditioning advice to my hubby (he is always my sounding board and gives the best advice) he said I don’t need to buy in to that unhealthy thinking.

He said, let’s oversimplify to make a point: If you are the best cook, dancer, employee, blogger, or athlete ever and someone else shares this perspective, 50% will believe it and 50% won’t. The same is true in reverse, if someone passes along that you a horrible parent, dancer, singer, cook, there is a 50% chance that others will believe it and the other half won’t. Bottom line: there will be a group of people who believe that you are great and others who won’t, no matter what you do.

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I think of the heated conversations men have about athletes illustrates this perfectly. You can take one athlete, say LeBron James, and one person who loves him lists stats and hurdles he’s  overcome to convince others of LeBron’s greatness. But others, who know those same stats and watch the same games will disagree and call LeBron garbage. They will say he only can do what he does because of those around him (coaches and teammates) and they say he’s no good. Same athlete, same performance, very different perspectives.

So, if you are a person who cares about what folks think or even worse, thinks you can change how people perceive you, you are going through life auditioning–be it for a job or role you already have. You’ll always be trying to prove that you are worth your title.

I’m learning to focus on doing good work regardless of what others think. I will not keep auditioning for a job or a role I already have.

Changing my perspective,

A.G.

 

 


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Wednesday Wisdom: Make sure they are laughing

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If people aren’t laughing at your dreams then they aren’t big enough
Grayson Marshall

I am not saying you should tell everyone your dreams, because they are precious, especially in the beginning. Protect your dreams, but make sure they are big enough so when you do tell people, they laugh–or at least raise their eyebrows in surprise. Your life matches your expectations. If you have small dreams, you’ll achieve small things. My hope for you is that you reignite your dreams and then go after them.

Keeping ’em laughing (including myself),

A.G.

 

 

 


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Wednesday Wisdom: Get rid of that But

Before you go look in the mirror or get annoyed with me because you think I am talking  about your weight,  notice but is spelled with one “t”, so I am talking about the conjunction.

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On Memorial Day, I was chillin by the pool watching my daughter swim. The weather was perfect, there was a slight breeze in the air– not too humid or hot. So as I took a deep breath and looked around, I thought: Ahhh this is such a great place to live. The pool, the weather, I have a great life. But no sooner then that thought came out, another one followed…but you have to work tomorrow.  (boo!)

Can y’all relate? As soon as you finally relax or compliment yourself on something, negative Nancy (sorry Nancy) comes along and negates your positivity.

Here’s a few of my negative Nancy thoughts:
Yes, I got some writing in,  but I binge watched a dance show all weekend, so I should be way further along.

Yes I lost two pounds this week, but it should’ve been more had I not indulged in those brownies. 

Yes, I walked a 1/2 mile to the pool to get in some exercise, but I need to do some more to offset those brownies.

Yes, I finished my blog post early, but I should try to post twice this week.

Yes, I folded and put away some laundry, but I need to weed out my daughter’s drawers and give away what is too small.

It’s the BUT that ruins everything.
So on my walk back from the pool, I wrote this post in my head. I had just caught myself negating the wonderful day… it’s like I needed to find something negative to finish off a positive thought. BUT that’s not so! I could have ended the thought with something positive, point blank period.

Listen to your thoughts and make sure you are ending on a positive note!

A.G.

 

 


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Just Coast

I like cars way more than I care to admit. I still think cars are a guy thing, but I’d love a sexy white Audi (Q7 or Q5 please) or a white Volvo XC 90.
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So I won’t say if this is about my job (wink wink) but I may have been going through my house this weekend fussing in my head about how things are playing out. When I am supervising people, I try very hard to give them grace. If we’ve worked hard, then we can catch our breath before the next challenge.  But not everyone has this philosophy. When you force people to “gas it” 100 percent of the time, you burn people out– plain and simple. Yes it’s good to gun it sometimes, but you have to know when to rest. If you’ve accelerated up a hill, you can let up on the gas on the way down.  This is a good lesson in the workplace, especially if you supervise people, but it’s good philosophy for life.

I am ambitious and I have big goals, no secret. But as I become wiser, I realize keeping the pedal to the metal all the time is a recipe for disaster. Stop for a little bit, look around,  Netflix and chill, or walk away and come back.  All of those things help you to refresh. Eagles do it, cars can do it, and so should people. Allow yourself some days or even weeks to just coast.

Ahhh,

A.G.

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