Pretty Blue Rose

life musings and inspiration


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Wednesday Wisdom: Just fugget about it!


Our thoughts are like a tape recorder playing the things we’ve experienced, some things we haven’t–all shaping our perceptions of life.  Unfortunately, the tape recorder tends to be a bit on the negative side…

Focusing on the one reason it will work, when you are over-thinking, over-analyzing, or doubting yourself…keeps you moving forward. Find that one reason to move forward and the rest will fall in to place. I promise!

Recently I heard an entrepreneur say that if a new project, product, or business venture is at a “C” (on the grade scale of A to F) then he moves forward. I was utterly shocked at first, but then I understood the psychology behind his rule. Well meaning people generally like things to be very close to an “A” before they launch something new, but the reality is nothing gets done that way. For a perfectionist like me, it’s freeing to finally be allowed to do “C” work!

What do you need to stop perfecting and just move forward with?  I encourage you to just go!

 

Stay inspired, enjoy life, and move forward!

 

 

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Wednesday Wisdom: Choose Your Own Adventure

Does anyone remember the Choose Your Own Adventure books?

 

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Each story is written from a second-person point of view, with the reader assuming the role of the protagonist which  allows you to make choices that determine the main character’s actions in response to the plot and its outcome.

I  loved those books so much as a child and I recently got back into reading them as an adult. I think I like them even more now because these books give me the opportunity to think through strategies for next steps, observe how my choices played out, and learn lessons from my choices in a totally painless way (even if I die in the book). If I make a “mistake” I can back track and undo my mistake in order to progress through the story. I always “win”!

Although Choose Your Own Adventure books are great for strategizing and learning lessons from mistakes, in real life we must remember to move forward even if we don’t know how everything will play out.

There are a few things I am working on that honestly, I have no idea how they will turn out. I am not sure if they will be a waste of time, but I am going to push on away. I wish I had the luxury of seeing how things will play out and then if I don’t like what I see, I can backtrack and choose another adventure–one that gives me the outcome I want. But that’s not how life works. We must keep going, making midcourse corrections along the way.

So, let’s be grateful we can choose our own adventure, but we should see the dead ends and mistakes as a sign we are stepping outside of our comfort zone—it means  we are truly living.

Enjoy the adventure.

A.G.

 

 


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Wednesday Wisdom: Good Supports

No this isn’t a post about undergarments, although they are very important and any good outfit won’t look right if your undergarments are lacking…

This post is to cause you to think about those who you choose to keep around you, those that you let speak into your life, those that support you in life’s journey.

A few weeks ago I had the best convo with my closest girl friend from undergrad. We hadn’t been able to catch up in a while, but we made up for it last week with a 2+ hour phone conversation.

The best thing is that when I am done talking to her I feel good! And after that particular conversation, I felt invincible. I got to share my fears, my struggles, ideas, and hopes, all while problem solving my way to feeling inspired.

Too many times we value quantity over quality in friendships. We just hang out with anyone, and then wonder why when we leave the presence of some people we feel dejected and insecure. But we continue to interact with those people because we think we should, we are being mean if we don’t, or that something wrong with us–that we are too picky.

The reality is you must be very careful of who you let feed your mind and who you let speak into your life. Your life literally depends on it!

 

Now this is not to say only hang with yes people, or people that say what you want to hear, but real friends give you the truth in love and you can feel the difference.

I hope this was able to help someone:)

stay inspired,

A. G.

 


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Wednesday Wisdom: Use it or Lose it!

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“Like physical effort, thought control is entirely a matter of intelligent practice. You must use your courage or it will desert you. You must use your determination or it will leave you. You must use your power of decision or soon you will find that you have none.” 

Think and Grow Rich

-Napoleon Hill

Wow, right?! I fully understand that concept for muscles–think astronauts and the extreme care they take to exercise their muscles in space so they don’t atrophy. (side note: if I don’t work out for a week, the next week, when I resume, my heart, lungs, and muscles feel like I haven’t used them in years…ugh!!)

Until I saw that quote, I hadn’t thought about courage, determination, or decisiveness in a “use or lose” kind of way. But we all know, once in a comfort zone, it’s hard to get out. Once you quit on one goal, it’s much easier to quit next time. Once you waffle on a decision, it’s easier to be wishy washy next time. But the good news is the same idea is true in reverse. Once you leap and make one courageous move (even if it’s unsuccessful) it’s easier to be courageous next time. Once you decide get out of bed early to work out, it becomes easier the next time.

So I encourage you (and me) to do things that require courage. Not only things like sky diving and rock climbing,  but little things like wearing a non-traditional nail polish color to a conservative work place and bigger things like creating a book series that rejects stereotypes and promotes diversity. (wonder who is trying to do that?)

Also, use your decisive and determined muscles on a daily basis. I know we tend to be all about accommodating everyone and everything, but learn to stick with a decision no matter who opposes it.

Stay inspired and enjoy the journey,

 

PS couldn’t help the He-man pic. Not sure why:)he-man-2063756_1920

 

 

A. G.


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Wednesday Wisdom: Chillax

A former boss once told me that I am a great worker, and very even keel, but (yes a but!) one of the things that I need is to feel respected. (I feel like what was implied is that I make waves when I feel I am being disrespected, and that’s not a good thing. sigh.).

I called my hubby to repeat the conversation and said, it’s not like that should be too much to ask…am I expecting too much of others? Please don’t tell me I’m overly needy because I feel every one should be respected. I just want people to show they have some “home training”.

Then it hit me, everyone has different upbringings, and something as simply courteous as saying hello in the hallway may not be on someone’s radar. (I am still shaking my head in disbelief as I typed that) But the reality is, what’s most important is my reaction to the perceived slight at work, at home, or by a neighbor.

Getting upset and giving away my joy is sooo what I need to work on…I need to realize not everyone was raised like me and that by putting my standards on others does nothing to them, but ruins my day and shortens my life.

“A relaxed attitude lengthens life” (Proverbs 14:30)

Chillaxin,

A.G.


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Wednesday Wisdom: Wrestling with Pigs

“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”

― George Bernard Shaw

I first saw this quote on twitter last week, and in full disclosure when I did my research, I found it attributed to several different people, but Mr. Shaw had the most votes, so he’s who I ended up going with.

So when I saw quote it spoke to me loud and clear. When someone is going through an injustice (that’s small to them, but big to you) everyone likes to say “pick your battles”, but that gives me little consolation when I know I am being wronged/mistreated and it’s making my everyday very challenging.

However, this quote shifts the focus from being wronged to avoiding joining a mess. It gave me a palatable alternative to jumping in there and setting the record straight (or really telling someone off, let’s be honest). If I don’t engage in gossip and backbiting, my character stays in tact, but if I chose to engage with challenging people, I will inevitably stoop to their level and I will reek of their character. So by “picking my battles” I’ll stay out of the mud and stay clean. Although I won’t have the satisfaction of engaging with certain people the way I’d love to, I’ll also be able to wear a metaphorical white outfit and keep it clean, in other words, keeping my integrity and character in tact.

Pretty Blue Style: All in white

Also, this quote helped me to realize that there is no way I could engage with challenging people and stay clean. I may start out clean (with good intentions), but by the nature of who they are, and how they play, I am bound to get really really dirty. And I don’t want that.

Wearing all white,

A.G.


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Wednesday Wisdom: Stop Auditioning

 

 

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I’ve been getting a lot of advice lately. Let’s just say there are some interesting things going on in my life and lots of folks have lots to say (reminder to self: stop telling lots of folks). I was lamenting the fact that I felt dismissed, judged, and undervalued.

A mentor gave me one piece of (alarming) advice about the work place that stuck with me:

“Although unfair, everyday is an audition”.

I found two definitions of auditioning:
1-An interview at which a singer, actor, dancer, or musician demonstrates their suitability and skill.

2-A trial performance, as by an actor, dancer, or musician, to demonstrate suitability or skill.

I think we all know the first definition, but the first part of the second definition is that caught my eye.  Auditions are a trial period where it is OK to be asked to demonstrate your skills. The thing I’d like to highlight is that it’s for a limited time –hence the word  trial.

But some folks expect people to prove themselves everyday but that’s tiring! Right? Living everyday as on a trial performance is not healthy. But unfortunately, I had to agree with that sentiment. In some work circles there’s always this “thing” hanging over you about your reputation. Everything you do, say, and work you perform is always “shaping” your “reputation”. To me this means you are always auditioning, always proving.

When I mentioned this everyday auditioning advice to my hubby (he is always my sounding board and gives the best advice) he said I don’t need to buy in to that unhealthy thinking.

He said, let’s oversimplify to make a point: If you are the best cook, dancer, employee, blogger, or athlete ever and someone else shares this perspective, 50% will believe it and 50% won’t. The same is true in reverse, if someone passes along that you a horrible parent, dancer, singer, cook, there is a 50% chance that others will believe it and the other half won’t. Bottom line: there will be a group of people who believe that you are great and others who won’t, no matter what you do.

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I think of the heated conversations men have about athletes illustrates this perfectly. You can take one athlete, say LeBron James, and one person who loves him lists stats and hurdles he’s  overcome to convince others of LeBron’s greatness. But others, who know those same stats and watch the same games will disagree and call LeBron garbage. They will say he only can do what he does because of those around him (coaches and teammates) and they say he’s no good. Same athlete, same performance, very different perspectives.

So, if you are a person who cares about what folks think or even worse, thinks you can change how people perceive you, you are going through life auditioning–be it for a job or role you already have. You’ll always be trying to prove that you are worth your title.

I’m learning to focus on doing good work regardless of what others think. I will not keep auditioning for a job or a role I already have.

Changing my perspective,

A.G.