Pretty Blue Rose

The style of life…with some wisdom mixed in.

Wednesday Wisdom: Stop Auditioning

6 Comments

I’ve been getting a lot of advice lately. Let’s just say there are some interesting things going on in my life and lots of folks have lots to say (reminder to self: stop telling lots of folks).

One piece of advice really stuck with me. One individual said, “Although unfair, everyday is an audition”.

I found two definitions of auditioning:
1-An interview at which a singer, actor, dancer, or musician demonstrates their suitability and skill. or a 2-A trial performance, as by an actor, dancer, or musician, to demonstrate suitability or skill.

So what I take away is that for a trial period it is OK to be asked and necessary to demonstrate your skills. The thing I’d like to highlight is that it’s for a limited time (hence the words interview and trial).

But I’m learning some people expect folks to have to prove themselves everyday and that’s tiring! Right? Living everyday as on a trial performance is not healthy. But unfortunately, I had to agree with that sentiment. In some circles (families, jobs, etc.) there’s always this “thing” hanging over you about your reputation. Everything you do, say, and work you perform is always “shaping” your “reputation”. To me this means you are always auditioning, always proving.

When I mentioned my new found revelation to my hubby (he is always my sounding board and gives the best advice) he said I don’t need to buy in to that status quo (and unhealthy) thinking.

He said, let’s oversimplify to make a point: If you are the best cook, dancer, employee, blogger, or athlete ever and someone passes along their perspective, 50% will believe it and 50% won’t. The same is true in reverse, if someone passes along that you a horrible parent, dancer, singer, cook, there is a 50% chance that others will believe it and the other half won’t. (Now I know the relationship to the messenger highly influences the likelihood the person will believe the information passed along, but again this was simplified to make a point). So in the scheme of things, there will be a group of people who believe that you are great and others who won’t, no matter what you do. Point Blank Period. (said like Tamar Braxton).

I think of the heated conversations men (and some women) have about athletes illustrates this perfectly. You can take one athlete, say LeBron James, and one person who loves him lists stats and all sorts of things to convince others of his perspective, but the others who know those same stats and watch the games will disagree and call Mr. James garbage. They will say he only can do what he does because of those around him (coaches and teammates) and they say he’s no good. Same person, same performance, different perspectives.

So, if you are a person who cares about what folks think or even worse, thinks you can change how people perceive you, you are going through life auditioning–be it for a job you already have or a role you already perform (a parent for example).
You are always trying to prove that you are worth your title.

I’m learning to focus on doing good work regardless of what others think I can or cannot do. I won’t keep auditioning for a job or a role I already have.

I am important, intelligent, and worthy because I am a human being. Period.

No. Convincing. Needed.

And now that I think about it, one of the main reasons I didn’t pursue a professional dance career was that I hated auditioning. The constant comparisons, rejection, and stress was something I wanted no part of. Why start auditioning now?

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6 thoughts on “Wednesday Wisdom: Stop Auditioning

  1. Loooove this!! This week has been one full of little nuggets. This message is awesome. Whomever passed on to you the wisdom of “auditioning” gets a gold star for that one. At one point not too long ago I believe I may have been one who “auditioned” for select “directors.” Never no more. Love it!

  2. I definitely agree with your hubby! I have learned to stop trying to prove I am good enough and just be me! Makes life sooo much easier! Oh…and the part about telling everybody your business! I have definitely learned my lesson about that one as well!

  3. I am still in an awkward phase at work where i’m not new anymore, but feel new and still try to prove myself! But it’s exhausting! Great post and i really need to realize i have to be me and i am good enough! Great, though provoking post

    • It’ll happen over time. You cannot walk up in a job acting like a know it all, but there is a balance where you can relax in the knowledge that you may not know it, but you are smart enough and capable enough to figure it out:)

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